Updated: May 22, 2020
#activelistening means that we try to understand things from the speaker’s point of view. It includes letting the speaker know that we are listening and that we have understood what was said. This is not the same as hearing, which is a physical process, where sound enters the eardrum, and messages are passed to the brain. Active listening can be described as an attitude that leads to listening for shared understanding.
Active listening has three main stages.
1. Responding to Feelings
The content (the words are spoken) is one thing, but the way that people feel really gives full value to the message. Responding to the speaker’s feelings adds an extra dimension of listening.
2. Reading Cues
Active listening means that we are also very conscious of the non-verbal aspects of the conversation.
What are the speaker’s facial expressions, hand gestures, and posture telling us?
Is their voice loud or shaky?
Are they stressing certain points?
Are they mumbling or having difficulty finding the words they want to say?
Does their body language indicate that they are uncomfortable or feeling like their message is not being heard?
Active listeners watch for these cues and adjust their approach accordingly. Sometimes just taking one step back or ceasing talking and getting the other person to talk to you instead, will be all it takes to ease the tension.
3. Demonstrating Listening
When you are listening to someone, these techniques will show a speaker that you are paying attention, providing you are genuine in using them.
Physical indicators (making eye contact, nodding your head from time to time, and leaning into the conversation).
Verbal cues or phrases such as “Uh-huh,” “Tell me more,” “Really!” and, “Then what?”
Ask questions for clarification or use summarising statements.